The Office Cleaner Who Married My Boss (Contd)

           ..... I guess we ate back our words when Claire resumed work the following week. Then Fidelis showed up to wipe my desk with his yellow duster dangling from the back pocket of his jeans. He said, Hello Aramide," and I replied, "Good morning Mr. Fidelis." Gosh! I banged my forehead with my palm and exclaimed, "See finish!" Since at work, we were experts at not minding our business, we all wondered why Fidelis still maintained his cleaning job. And Claire was okay with her husband vacuuming her office, wiping the dust off her desk and emptying her bin? Actually, I didn't think Fidelis had a proper University degree....perhaps a secondary school leaving certificate. There were obvious signs that Fidelis was already being brushed up; he now wore nice outfits I could tell were shopped off the Sales racks in Primark, he rarely used 'have' in place of 'has' when I overhead him chat with his colleague. Tell me someone was being home schooled firsthand on tenses by an English wife. When Fidelis' pleasantries started getting entangled in a false British accent, that was the height for me. I lost it!



When my migrant application came out successful, I resigned and in July, I was on the next flight to London. With a whoosh sound, the urine whirled in its pool and disappeared down the throat of the toilet. I stared blankly as fresh water filled its bowl and I remembered the welcome speech I received two days after my arrival. "Please do not flush after every wee except it's a number two. I am trying to conserve water bills." If I understood Barbara clearly, she meant accumulating urine was encouraged. I should have just stayed in my country where I could flush the toilet before and after doing a wee. How did I even end up as flat mate to Barbara? My plan had always been to initially stay with Bose, my long time friend and we had been in touch severally on this. If she had cut off contact with me then, I could comprehend that. But no, she didn't.  I must tell you that Bose's behaviour convinced me that she was an epitome of spiritual wickedness in low places. Do you know I spoke with her when I boarded the flight to London from Lagos? And she had said, "Okay Aramide, once you get in just call me, I'll be at the airport to pick you. Text me your UK number so I can save it." With Bose not picking  over 50 calls of mine and I dropping voicemail messages, that was how I got stranded at Heathrow Airport. The only person I could ring up then was Claire in Nigeria. Thankfully, she linked me up with her two bedroom flat in Barking. Though in her absence, one room was being rented out to Barbara. I occupied the other. A month had gone by and Bose was still not picking my calls. By the way, I was paying rent to Claire.



I thought I was adjusting well to the foreign land until I got burned by their sun. Their sun because I didn't believe it was same one in Nigeria especially since it could burn my African light complexioned skin. I was getting used to rubbing sun screen like pomade. One day, Barbara and I went to the store to grab a few groceries. At every shelf, I noticed she constantly punched the keypad of her phone. I guess she noticed my raised eyebrows and then she said, "Aramide sorry oh, e get as this place be. I have to use my calculator to convert pounds to naira. Here we work with strict budget oh, no overspending but under spending is welcomed." I almost died when Barbara used the calculator for green pepper. Green pepper fa? Nigerians in London had become miserly. I had heard stories that London had a way of changing them. Barbara was that Nigerian.

Claire and I maintained a healthy relationship and now that I was her tenant, she kept in touch more often than I envisaged. I found it kind of her to have asked how I was settling in her country, also giving me pointers to useful places. She made funny remarks in her email like, Whilst honey mooning, my dear Fidelis wasn't doing well with fish and chips often so fished out the African food store down the road. LOL.

'Too much information Claire. I really didn't want to know what went down during your honeymoon,' I thought. Her emails no more came in trickles but now every day. Though ninety five percent of them were centered around her love Fidelis, I indulged her. She told me her posting was coming to an end in five months time so they planned to return to London. I worried that I had to vacate her place but she immediately added, "You don't need to leave. Barbara is leaving. We shall occupy her room." The first time I read the email, I must have skipped the part that mentioned Fidelis resuming the new semester at the Brunel University. Good for him. In as much as the thought of sharing a flat with a former boss and her cleaner husband didn't go down well with me, moving out would have been overstretching my resources as my rent at Claire's was subsidised. I got a part-time job with a salary that paid only my bills leaving me with zero savings. I was frequenting the internet seeking full time jobs. A whole me with over fifteen years work experience as a manager back in Nigeria was now a Call Centre Agent in London. No one mentioned to me that the lizard in Nigeria wouldn't turn into an alligator in London.  Boy! I was working my arse off with nothing to show besides my new wardrobe. I was good at ransacking the Sales racks for less than £5 tops, pants and I even got lucky with shoes too. Barbara had taught me how to achieve this towards the end of summer, just before she moved out. I barely had any time on my hands to remind myself that I was still single and hopeful to cross paths with a charming English man. For me, London was a very lonely place with a very busy life.



Claire and Fidelis arrived the house one cold afternoon. I hugged Claire and Fidelis had the nerves to open his arms in anticipation of a hug. This boy sef! For the first time, I took my time to assess him beside Claire. Sincerely, they made a perfect fit as a couple, two love birds. It will take some time for me to start seeing Fidelis as a man. He was not my type at all. I consciously distanced myself from Claire's husband as much as possible because of the silly history we had together. I doubted very much that whatever Fidelis felt for me was over. I said this because many times I read in between the lines, his innuendos were not vague. Full blown winter had come and I could do well with the warmth of a man. That gist of there are no men in London was true. I was roasting away. I hate to say this but it is a confession. There was a day that I found myself alone with Fidelis in the house and things spiralled out of my control. If I recall what happened, Fidelis had just come out of the bathroom with a white towel around his waist. My eyes went for his bulge and they couldn't resist his wet calves. Claire had gone to work, Fidelis was soon headed out to school and I had just returned from a job interview in Loughborough.  I think Fidelis deliberately let the towel fall down.Yes, that was what happened. I quickly took my eyes off as I sat on the couch in the front room with my laptop. In my head, I hoped he wouldn't make the move because I knew I would fail the test. Next thing I knew, Fidelis was on the couch and we were on top of each other. That was the most I could recollect. Everything happened too fast that afternoon. Remember I said I was lonely and cold, so please don't crucify me. I felt silly afterwards though. Of course, this was our secret. I knew I had to move out because it was the right thing to do. Luckily, I passed the interview and changed jobs quickly. Two weeks later, I moved down to Loughborough which was outside London. Those two weeks in Claire's house were the most uncomfortable weeks of my life. I am no longer in touch with Claire nor her cleaner husband and this has been a deliberate action on my part.